Nicky Raby was back on the DMHQ pink sofa recently doing a follow up to her hugely popular first session on Imposter Syndrome for the Empowering Women with #WorkThatWorks Facebook group. Many of us deal with Imposter Syndrome (around 70% so the stats say) - so how can we actually, practically, deal with it on a day to day basis? Nicky talked us through her approach - as with anything, there’s no ‘silver bullet’, but goal setting and structure are important to keep us from wallowing in that feeling of ‘I can’t do it’ or ‘I’m not good enough and will be found out’.
Firstly, Nicky talked about goal setting. She recommended we think ahead, and place ourselves a few months down the line - let’s say December. Now think about:
- What’s your ideal situation in December?
- What do you want to have happened?
- What do you want to have up and running?
- What do you want to be earning?
- How do you want to have made this money?
- What clients do you want to be working with?
- What do you want your lifestyle to be? Consider the structure of your week, how you want your business and life to exist alongside each other and how you want to be spending your time.
- How do you want your mindset to be?
- How do you want to feel?
When we’re answering these questions for ourselves we sometimes feel like we’d better not write it down as it might not come true! But we should just go for it, and give ourselves the space to create and think about what it is that we really want.
- Now write down all the reasons that achieving these goals is possible - think about your skills, experiences, knowledge.
- And then write down all the reasons that achieving these goals is not possible for you - for example; ‘I don’t have enough knowledge’ or ‘I should wait until my children start school’ or ‘what will people think?’ Get it all on the page, even if these reasons sound flimsy once you unearth them! It’s these beliefs that are holding us back and the more that we can do to reveal them, the more power we have in dealing with them. When we’re not specific about them they have a hold over us, and it’s harder to challenge them and overcome imposter syndrome.
- Now consider what will support you on your journey - what habits will support your growth? It can be very simple! Like drinking lots of water, having time outside or getting a cleaner.
- And, what will hinder you on your journey? Think about what you need to stop doing, or do less of. For example, look at the language you use - what do you often say and how does it make you feel? (e.g. I’m so tired!). Does it empower you or make you feel negative? Awareness is key!
In conclusion, Nicky was as encouraging and supportive as ever, and reminded us that we CAN do it. Imposter syndrome is just a negative belief system, it’s not the truth. The more we can be aware of, and challenge that internal dialogue, the more we will grow and realise actually how very capable we are.
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